Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Alpha Romeo?
There you are, wandering through a sea of vehicles frantically clicking away on your key fob like a maniac. It’s happened to the best of us, chatting away on the phone as you park at the local mega-store to run in a grab a few things. Blissfully unaware of the challenge you’ll soon be faced with once you emerge from the grasps of this year’s “Mega-Clearance Sale Extravaganza”. You no sooner finish man-handling what you believe is quite possibly the most defective shopping cart ever made across the decorative, faux-brick, “rumble strip” at the entrance, when suddenly an overwhelming feeling of dread washes over you. You have no idea where you parked.
Trying to not panic, you feel around inside your coat pocket for your only hope of rescue… your key fob. Success! A smile streaks across your face as you pull it out and calmly click the button that will audibly guide you to your vehicle. Silence. You click it again, this time actually looking at what button your clicking. Nothing. In an attempt to stave off a panic attack, you begin a series of key fob clicks, each one in a different direction just in case your car is somehow directionally challenged. This inevitably leads to the “tip-toe” walk of shame. This is where you weave back and forth through cars, hopelessly “Lion King-ing” your key fob into the air, in a last ditch effort to extend its range. The universe rewards these efforts with awkward stares from strangers, and a reminder from your conscience that your dashboard warned you the battery was low last week.
Hopefully, the next time you find yourself in a similar situation, you’ll remember to slow down, and use your head. Literally.
If you’re like me, and blessed with a bulbous cranium, you’ll be glad to finally get some use out of all that childhood torture you endured. This simple trick sounds absolutely bonkers when you first hear it (and actually it sounds just as crazy even after you do some research on it), but it actually works. All you have to do is place the key fob under your chin and press the button. Voila! Like some sort of anatomical wizardry, your car echos back to you with the call of its people!
This trick works because your brain-box is filled with fluid, and that fluid is a great conductor. Just like the Doppler Radar towers you’ve probably seen at some point, your head acts to magnify and disperse your key fob’s radio signal evenly in all directions. There have been several tests done showing that using the “noggin-fob” method can extend your key fob range up to double its standard distance! Once you learn this trick, you’ll use it all the time. I use it at home now when I’m not sure if I remembered to lock my car doors.
Hopefully this little hack will be your life-saver the next time your find yourself lost and adrift… in a sea of cars.